Week 14 - Alexis

TL Yarn Baby Blanket

Outgoing. Determined. Funny.  Good mum.

I see Alexis heading towards me.  Pushing a pram with one hand, the other arm wrapped around a wriggling toddler.  They sit opposite me, parking the pram out of the way in a corner of the cafe.  The child sits on Alexis’ knee but is keen to move around and explore.  

Alexis tells me, between warnings the food is too hot, that she likes to crochet.  She mainly completes small animals, amigurumi, key chain motifs, baby blankets.  Amigurumi is a Japanese composite word from ‘ami’ meaning knitting or crochet and ‘nuigurumi’ meaning stuffed doll and refers to a plethora of small animal type crocheted shapes; anything from dinosaurs to cats, lions to owls with hats. 

Her grandmother taught Alexis how to loop finger knitting strings as she was crocheting her own things, this moved onto hooked chains. Her grandmother would make everything, jumpers, blankets, crocheted collars (it was the 1980s!) and passed on the basics of her knowledge to Alexis.  After a break of some years Alexis picked up knitting and finished a scarf, but it was an encounter with a colleague that led her to rediscover crochet.  This is now her love.

Crochet offers Alexis a way to decompress, to focus, to unwind, to ‘stop my mind’ and to lose herself in one thing.  Having a bright, curious and engaged toddler keeps her mind on other things most of the time but crochet offers her the opportunity to put all that aside and focus.

Alexis with 'The best thing I ever made, my baby' and Ted E Bear.

The best thing she had made is TL Yarn baby blanket using a mosaic crochet technique.  Alexis like the look and feel of it.  It has a simplicity in its colour which is slightly vintage.  The finished look; both colour and texture are important to Alexis.  The blanket was gifted to a friend for a new baby.  The feeling of gifting also a high point for Alexis ‘doing something nice for someone whose has been nice to you’.

Alexis came to Australia because of love.  Hers is a modern love story; meeting her fella online while playing World of Warcraft.  She moved to Australia in 2009 from Texas.  At no point since her separation has she thought to return to the US.  ‘People are nice here’, ‘People say go to Texas if you want to meet nice Americans, but here is better’ and ‘Its the guns, no guns here’.  Alexis is hoping to return for a holiday trip at the end of the year, if all goes well, so she can introduce her family to her child.  

Current Work In Progress

We talk about the Facebook group and what it offers.  For Alexis this is inspiration.  Seeing the finished and partly finished items posted weekly gives her something to aim for, gives her things to think about other than her toddler.  She does not make it to the face to face meet ups as during the week her baby comes first and she is doing a good job of engaging her with activities: kindergym, playgroup at the local synagogue, and playdates.  That is as well as keeping house, fitting all this around nap times and custody visits.  There is a lot going on in her life.

As she gets up to get some serviettes to clear up a spill I ask her if she would go back to World of Warcraft or stick with crochet.  Her answer is emphatic and without hesitation, ‘Crochet!’. Her computer world has been left behind.

Teddy E Bear with a basket made by Alexis

The toddler is getting restless, she wants to move onto the next thing so I know our time is coming to an end.  And who can blame her? Even Bluey on her mother’s phone is not the distraction she needs to sit still at the moment.  Alexis tells me, in interrupted sentences, about her favourite and most treasured possession; a teddy bear that was given to her when in a children’s hospital shortly after birth.  Her uncle told her the story of his first visit, when he introduced himself to her, she cried but had no tears as she was so dehydrated.  A visiting entertainer came to the bedside to pass on a bear made in his image.  Ted E Bear has been in the wars, is showing signs of love, but is the thing that has been held onto to over 40 years.  The bear sits, safely, in a box away from the toddler, but is still loved and will be brought out when it is safe to do so.

The child has had enough.  She on the march, wants to get away and has done so.  Distracting her mother by throwing food on the floor.  Alexis explains ‘She did not get a nap today, her sleep pattern is changing’. Our time is up.

This interview with Alexis has reminded me of the hard years with a small child, the constant thinking for someone else, the constant dictation of what you do, think and say, being determined by someone else.  It is joyful but also hard work.  Just like any item that is hand made; anything that is worthwhile is hard work.